I got on Facebook this morning, and after my perusal of a news feed dominated by posts about Hurricane Irene (stay safe, East Coast!) and an album of a friend's beautiful engagement photos, I noticed a link on the right side of my screen that said "On this day in 2009..." with a post I made exactly two years ago. Here is what it said:
"In 11 days, I will be going to spend a week at a resort in the German Alps. For work. I think I took off from Dallas last month and landed in a dream..."
As I read this, my reaction was one I really wasn't expecting. First, it is appropriate because I am going back to Germany for the same conference on Sunday. But I really felt that the reminder was bittersweet. It took me back to two years ago, when I had just arrived here and everything was new and exciting and I was so in love with everything and everyone around me. The world was at my fingertips and dreams were becoming reality. So why does reading that now bring twinges of sadness?
Maybe not so much sadness, but loss. Somewhere along the way, I let pressure, frustration, and long days at work leave me burned out and oblivious to one of the greatest gifts God has given me... the chance to live here and just LIVE THIS LIFE. How do I get that back?
We have today (Friday) off, which is a huge relief after four 14-16 hour workdays. I had a conversation yesterday with someone in the weather flight who is PCSing back to the States next week, and he was talking about how hard the time was between December and March preparing for our re-inspection after the failure. Maybe I never even admitted to myself what an emotional toll that time period took. And outside of that, I feel like I have lost a lot of patience with people in general, mostly due to my work environment. I find it much harder to keep my mouth shut if I feel that someone is making a bad decision. I am a lot less inclined to have sympathy for people who make excuses for not meeting standards or missing deadlines. And while in some cases that may not be a bad thing, I think it is very important that my overall approach to the world is one of love, hope, and joy... much like my old Facebook status.
We are currently studying Proverbs in OCF, and last week we read this verse: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." (Prov 16:9) I can apply this in various ways to several parts of my life, but what it made me think about today is how important it is to seek and see God in every aspect of every day. In the middle of my third 14-hour day in a row, I may feel like smacking the pilot who makes a crack about the weather forecast, or the person who whines about every small thing they have to do, or the leader who makes a decision that doesn't make sense. But the truth is, God has directed me to be in all of those situations, and my attitude needs to reflect that.
My hope and prayer for this Germany trip next week is that I remember why being here in Europe means so much to me. I want to fall in love with the beauty all over again and be thankful for everything I have been given.
Good List:
1. Martin. Yesterday we celebrated his 30th birthday on Skype! I got to watch him open his gifts in the morning and then later talked to him on the DSN phone at work. I was so happy that he had a wonderful day (complete with steak and bowling) even though we could not be together in person. Only a little over a month until he comes home! :-D
2. Photo albums I keep forgetting to tell you I posted. Most have already seen these on Facebook, but just in case, here are:
Spring 2011 https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150695358560002.703441.701905001&l=a2c2c7cb9d&type=1
USA Trip May 2011 https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150733726485002.714017.701905001&l=4c88a5e7ad&type=1
Brighton Beach & July 4th https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150742393150002.716865.701905001&l=524280281a&type=1
Three Peaks Challenge https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150743997540002.717501.701905001&l=a235fd0622&type=1
3. Chicken tikka masala and garlic naan. How did I never know how amazing Indian food was until I got over here?
4. Finding joy in small things. An alarm clock going off at 0215 is no fun, but driving to work at 0300 means zero traffic and a sky full of incredible stars.
5. I found a house! It is in Bury St Edmunds within walking distance of Martin's house and the town center, and is in a nice residential area with a yard, driveway, and garage. The rental agency has been amazing, they are experienced with renting to military and have pushed all the paperwork quickly and with no issues. Moving day is set for Saturday, September 10th! :-)
6. Good chick flicks.
7. Lisa's Big Adventure. My little sister made it to LA, found an apartment, and is now in Manila, Phillippines, for a 3-week mission trip before returning to LA to start her urban ministry internship. Follow her at http://lisakeller9.wordpress.com/!
8. People who inspire me. I started a post on this a week ago, and while it is now sitting unfinished in the "post graveyard" (as cousin and fellow blogger Amy likes to call it), I don't plan on it staying there!
9. Uncle Ben's Brown Rice packets. 90 seconds in the microwave.
10. Fantasy Football draft tomorrow! I am nervous to play for the first time, but excited about picking my team and getting into the season.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Closed Doors
I'm about a week overdue on celebrating my 2-year anniversary here in England. That's a little (okay, a lot) scary to write, because it seems like just yesterday I was celebrating my 1-year anniversary and being thankful that I still had 2 years to go, because I didn't want to start thinking about the "lasts" I would have in my final year. And now here it is. July 29, 2009, I arrived... and in July 2012, I will leave. So this is my last August in England. Instead of being sad about this, I want to embrace every moment and make all of the "lasts" as sweet as I can.
I'll be honest, the last month has been a pretty emotional one for me... some good, but for the most part it has been challenging. Doors closing, failures, frustrations, and things that have made me question whether I have what it takes. For various reasons, I won't go into detail on most of those things for now, but I'll talk about one that had a big impact, because I think I've turned a corner and learned from it.
This will be a short story about a door that wasn't just closed, but slammed in my face. I mentioned about a month ago that I was asked to move out of my house by October so that my landlords could sell it. Though it wasn't what I wanted, I agreed because I believed it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. So I began house-hunting, and after about a week, I stumbled upon an unbelievably perfect house.
It was a completely restored 17th-century thatched-roof cottage, and it was the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I was in love from the moment I walked through the rose-covered archway at the gate. It was immaculate inside and out, including a modern kitchen with dishwasher, beautifully landscaped gardens bursting with flowers, and not one but TWO garages. I'm not going to post a picture, because I'm not a masochist (it still hurts to click past it on the property search websites), but if you have ever tried to imagine the perfect English cottage, just know that's what it was like.
I put in an application the day after I visited it. Though I tried not to get my hopes up, it was just so incredible that I couldn't resist telling my close friends and co-workers. A week later, on a Friday, the rental agency called to tell me that my application was approved, and asked when I wanted to move in. I may or may not have squealed in the ear of the agent and did a happy dance in the parking lot of the Lakenheath gym. I spent the weekend on cloud nine, picturing how I would arrange all of my furniture, and dreaming about making memories with friends in my beautiful new home.
Paperwork began on Monday, but it wasn't until Wednesday that disaster struck. I got a phone call at work from the property manager (who I had never met, and was not part of the rental agency). He asked if I was US military, and when I said that I was, he told me that he had had a bad experience with a US military tenant a few years ago, who had left unpaid rent and utility bills, and thus he had decided never to rent to a US military person again. He said in a short, business-like tone that he was sorry, but he would refund my application fee and move on.
My mind raced between disbelief and panic, searching for something to say. I apologized for the disrespect and irresponsibility of the past tenant. I explained all of the policies in place to ensure we fulfill our requirements to British landlords. I told him about my decision to move as a favor to my current landlords. I offered additional professional and personal references on myself. And I told him how I felt about the cottage and how much it meant to me. I laid out everything I had... and he still said no.
I felt like a dream had been ripped away from me and shattered. I cried for about two days straight. I realize that at this point, most (maybe all) of you are thinking "it's just a house, get over it." And I get that. I'm just being honest. It was as if something that was mine (or that I had believed to be mine from Friday-Wednesday) had been taken from me, something that I had visualized as part of my life. And the reason was something completely out of my control. In 26 years, I have never felt discriminated against until that day. I realize now how blessed I have been, to not have experienced the sense of helplessness and despair when you are denied something based not on who you are, but a stereotype you are associated with.
Though it still hurts to think about losing the cottage, some good news in another area came through the next week that helped me put everything in perspective. Martin had applied for an extension on his assignment here so that his move date (March) would match mine (July) and in turn we would be in the same assignment cycle and could get married in time to ask the Air Force to assign us together. While it initially didn't look promising, prayers were answered and AFPC came through with an approval! I can't even begin to explain the joy and relief that came with this news. It still does not guarantee a joint assignment, but our odds just skyrocketed.
Still no wedding date set, but we are moving into checking time frames with family, so that makes me really excited!!! I told Martin that this news almost prompted me to pick a house at random from the property search site and move, because it mattered so little in comparison to the joy of a future with him. :-D (I didn't pick the random house, though... still have time to look!)
Good List:
1. Martin. I can't wait to marry him!!! :-) Sometimes it amazes me how he knows exactly what I am thinking before I even figure it out myself.
2. Cool evenings with windows open and breezes blowing though the house.
3. Talk of football season beginning! I am playing fantasy football with Martin's squadron this year, and of course I can't wait to see my Penn State Nittany Lions in action.
4. Odwalla strawberry banana smoothies.
5. Lisa. My amazing little sister is driving across the country this week to begin her new job in urban ministry in LA. So proud! :-) Follow her blog at http://lisakeller9.wordpress.com/
6. Good friends and making new good friends. :-)
7. Second SOS test complete! Only one to go...
8. The commissary sandwich bar.
9. A gas safety inspector who actually arrived in the first 10 minutes of the 3-hour window I was given to wait.
10. Seeing a rainbow out my hallway window on my first look outside one morning. :-)
I'll be honest, the last month has been a pretty emotional one for me... some good, but for the most part it has been challenging. Doors closing, failures, frustrations, and things that have made me question whether I have what it takes. For various reasons, I won't go into detail on most of those things for now, but I'll talk about one that had a big impact, because I think I've turned a corner and learned from it.
This will be a short story about a door that wasn't just closed, but slammed in my face. I mentioned about a month ago that I was asked to move out of my house by October so that my landlords could sell it. Though it wasn't what I wanted, I agreed because I believed it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. So I began house-hunting, and after about a week, I stumbled upon an unbelievably perfect house.
It was a completely restored 17th-century thatched-roof cottage, and it was the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I was in love from the moment I walked through the rose-covered archway at the gate. It was immaculate inside and out, including a modern kitchen with dishwasher, beautifully landscaped gardens bursting with flowers, and not one but TWO garages. I'm not going to post a picture, because I'm not a masochist (it still hurts to click past it on the property search websites), but if you have ever tried to imagine the perfect English cottage, just know that's what it was like.
I put in an application the day after I visited it. Though I tried not to get my hopes up, it was just so incredible that I couldn't resist telling my close friends and co-workers. A week later, on a Friday, the rental agency called to tell me that my application was approved, and asked when I wanted to move in. I may or may not have squealed in the ear of the agent and did a happy dance in the parking lot of the Lakenheath gym. I spent the weekend on cloud nine, picturing how I would arrange all of my furniture, and dreaming about making memories with friends in my beautiful new home.
Paperwork began on Monday, but it wasn't until Wednesday that disaster struck. I got a phone call at work from the property manager (who I had never met, and was not part of the rental agency). He asked if I was US military, and when I said that I was, he told me that he had had a bad experience with a US military tenant a few years ago, who had left unpaid rent and utility bills, and thus he had decided never to rent to a US military person again. He said in a short, business-like tone that he was sorry, but he would refund my application fee and move on.
My mind raced between disbelief and panic, searching for something to say. I apologized for the disrespect and irresponsibility of the past tenant. I explained all of the policies in place to ensure we fulfill our requirements to British landlords. I told him about my decision to move as a favor to my current landlords. I offered additional professional and personal references on myself. And I told him how I felt about the cottage and how much it meant to me. I laid out everything I had... and he still said no.
I felt like a dream had been ripped away from me and shattered. I cried for about two days straight. I realize that at this point, most (maybe all) of you are thinking "it's just a house, get over it." And I get that. I'm just being honest. It was as if something that was mine (or that I had believed to be mine from Friday-Wednesday) had been taken from me, something that I had visualized as part of my life. And the reason was something completely out of my control. In 26 years, I have never felt discriminated against until that day. I realize now how blessed I have been, to not have experienced the sense of helplessness and despair when you are denied something based not on who you are, but a stereotype you are associated with.
Though it still hurts to think about losing the cottage, some good news in another area came through the next week that helped me put everything in perspective. Martin had applied for an extension on his assignment here so that his move date (March) would match mine (July) and in turn we would be in the same assignment cycle and could get married in time to ask the Air Force to assign us together. While it initially didn't look promising, prayers were answered and AFPC came through with an approval! I can't even begin to explain the joy and relief that came with this news. It still does not guarantee a joint assignment, but our odds just skyrocketed.
Still no wedding date set, but we are moving into checking time frames with family, so that makes me really excited!!! I told Martin that this news almost prompted me to pick a house at random from the property search site and move, because it mattered so little in comparison to the joy of a future with him. :-D (I didn't pick the random house, though... still have time to look!)
Good List:
1. Martin. I can't wait to marry him!!! :-) Sometimes it amazes me how he knows exactly what I am thinking before I even figure it out myself.
2. Cool evenings with windows open and breezes blowing though the house.
3. Talk of football season beginning! I am playing fantasy football with Martin's squadron this year, and of course I can't wait to see my Penn State Nittany Lions in action.
4. Odwalla strawberry banana smoothies.
5. Lisa. My amazing little sister is driving across the country this week to begin her new job in urban ministry in LA. So proud! :-) Follow her blog at http://lisakeller9.wordpress.com/
6. Good friends and making new good friends. :-)
7. Second SOS test complete! Only one to go...
8. The commissary sandwich bar.
9. A gas safety inspector who actually arrived in the first 10 minutes of the 3-hour window I was given to wait.
10. Seeing a rainbow out my hallway window on my first look outside one morning. :-)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Being Real
This post has been marinating in my brain for a while now, but after an incredible weekend spent with some of the people who inspired it, I decided it was time to write it (though it's getting slightly late and I still need to catch up on sleep from the weekend!).
It took me a while to realize this about myself, but after Martin left on his deployment, I went through a sort of identity crisis. I was so determined not to be one of those women who disappears from society while her significant other is gone, who ignores her friends, who sits around and doesn't do anything because her man isn't there. I love Martin, but I felt like I had something to prove, that I had to define myself without him here.
So I threw myself at every social opportunity that presented itself. I went to events hosted by friends of friends, I went out on nights when I would have so much rather gone to bed, I talked up people I barely knew... just to widen my percieved social network and keep my calendar full. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about meeting new people or making new friends... the problem was that the person I was putting out there wasn't really ME. I was laughing at things I didn't really think were funny, I acted interested in things I didn't really care to hear about, and I put a high priority on things that didn't really matter.
Then one day I had lunch with two friends from my OCF Bible study. During that lunch, I started laughing at something one of them said, and all of a sudden it hit me how EASY this was... my laugh was real, and my smile wasn't forced. During that whole conversation, not once did I worry about what they were thinking of me. We talked about some deep real life issues, and not once did I filter what I was saying. Not once did I feel judged, intimidated, or overshadowed. As I drove away, the contrast continued to strike me, and I realized how utterly exhausting it was to put on the show I had been doing for the past couple weeks. That one hour with my OCF friends was like a breath of fresh air.
You would think that by age 26, the "be yourself" lesson would have been learned already, but I guess we all need reminders sometimes. Maybe I did need to define what my life would be like with Martin on the other side of the planet for a while, but I didn't need to redefine ME. Who I am is the same, and what I need is to fill my time with people who accept me for me and help me to become a better person. I need to do things that matter and things that benefit others around me. What I DON'T need is to waste my time trying to conform myself into a scene I never belonged in the first place.
One of the things that first impressed me about Martin, and one of the things that I still admire the most about him, is how honest he is about who he is. He never concerns himself with what the "right people" think, he does what he believes is right and never backs down on things he is passionate about. I guess in that sense, it is kind of ironic that I went the complete opposite direction without him around, but he is one of the people who has helped me over the last few weeks to become confident in the "real me" again. I love how he never tells me I can't do something. He always encourages me to set new goals, achieve new things, and defy any doubts I have in my abilities.
The two OCF friends I mentioned earlier have also been a huge inspiration to me. They are a couple who have both done amazing things in their lives, but would never be the ones to tell you about it. They are humble, caring, honest people who love God and everyone around them. I am so excited to have them as friends!
This past weekend, I went with a group of 15 people (about half from OCF) to complete the Three Peaks Challenge - hike the highest mountains in Scotland, England, and Wales within 24 hours. I plan to write a post about it with more details and pictures later, but the point I wanted to make today is that I could not have had a better group of people to tackle this challenge with. It was HARD, admittedly much harder than I anticipated. But everyone supported and encouraged each other the whole way, through blisters, rain, sleep deprivation, everything.
On the last mountain, about a third of the way up, my quad muscles were at the point of failure and I slowed to a stop, ready to admit defeat. But then one friend talked me into going a bit farther... and then a bit farther, every time I wanted to quit. When the two of us finished the third mountain to complete the Challenge, 13 minutes before the 24-hour cutoff, I couldn't help myself from tearing up with joy. This amazing group of friends helped me do something that a lot of people wouldn't believe I could do, something that maybe I didn't even believe I could really do.
So this week, I am thankful for the real things in my life. My real God, real love, and real friends who remind me what real life is about.
It took me a while to realize this about myself, but after Martin left on his deployment, I went through a sort of identity crisis. I was so determined not to be one of those women who disappears from society while her significant other is gone, who ignores her friends, who sits around and doesn't do anything because her man isn't there. I love Martin, but I felt like I had something to prove, that I had to define myself without him here.
So I threw myself at every social opportunity that presented itself. I went to events hosted by friends of friends, I went out on nights when I would have so much rather gone to bed, I talked up people I barely knew... just to widen my percieved social network and keep my calendar full. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about meeting new people or making new friends... the problem was that the person I was putting out there wasn't really ME. I was laughing at things I didn't really think were funny, I acted interested in things I didn't really care to hear about, and I put a high priority on things that didn't really matter.
Then one day I had lunch with two friends from my OCF Bible study. During that lunch, I started laughing at something one of them said, and all of a sudden it hit me how EASY this was... my laugh was real, and my smile wasn't forced. During that whole conversation, not once did I worry about what they were thinking of me. We talked about some deep real life issues, and not once did I filter what I was saying. Not once did I feel judged, intimidated, or overshadowed. As I drove away, the contrast continued to strike me, and I realized how utterly exhausting it was to put on the show I had been doing for the past couple weeks. That one hour with my OCF friends was like a breath of fresh air.
You would think that by age 26, the "be yourself" lesson would have been learned already, but I guess we all need reminders sometimes. Maybe I did need to define what my life would be like with Martin on the other side of the planet for a while, but I didn't need to redefine ME. Who I am is the same, and what I need is to fill my time with people who accept me for me and help me to become a better person. I need to do things that matter and things that benefit others around me. What I DON'T need is to waste my time trying to conform myself into a scene I never belonged in the first place.
One of the things that first impressed me about Martin, and one of the things that I still admire the most about him, is how honest he is about who he is. He never concerns himself with what the "right people" think, he does what he believes is right and never backs down on things he is passionate about. I guess in that sense, it is kind of ironic that I went the complete opposite direction without him around, but he is one of the people who has helped me over the last few weeks to become confident in the "real me" again. I love how he never tells me I can't do something. He always encourages me to set new goals, achieve new things, and defy any doubts I have in my abilities.
The two OCF friends I mentioned earlier have also been a huge inspiration to me. They are a couple who have both done amazing things in their lives, but would never be the ones to tell you about it. They are humble, caring, honest people who love God and everyone around them. I am so excited to have them as friends!
This past weekend, I went with a group of 15 people (about half from OCF) to complete the Three Peaks Challenge - hike the highest mountains in Scotland, England, and Wales within 24 hours. I plan to write a post about it with more details and pictures later, but the point I wanted to make today is that I could not have had a better group of people to tackle this challenge with. It was HARD, admittedly much harder than I anticipated. But everyone supported and encouraged each other the whole way, through blisters, rain, sleep deprivation, everything.
On the last mountain, about a third of the way up, my quad muscles were at the point of failure and I slowed to a stop, ready to admit defeat. But then one friend talked me into going a bit farther... and then a bit farther, every time I wanted to quit. When the two of us finished the third mountain to complete the Challenge, 13 minutes before the 24-hour cutoff, I couldn't help myself from tearing up with joy. This amazing group of friends helped me do something that a lot of people wouldn't believe I could do, something that maybe I didn't even believe I could really do.
So this week, I am thankful for the real things in my life. My real God, real love, and real friends who remind me what real life is about.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Soooo... it's been kind of a long week. I almost didn't want to blog tonight because I was afraid it would sound complain-y, but I have some good stuff to talk about too... and the truth is that sometimes in life you have a "down" week, so I will try to be okay with that.
I'll start out with good: Brian and Christine are awesome! And their daughter Abby is the most adorable 2-year-old ever, so it has been so much fun getting to know them and helping them get settled here in England. I think Brian and I are going to work really well together in the flight. They are still working on finding a house, car, etc., so he probably won't be in the office much until after the 4th of July weekend, but I'm really looking forward to having him and his family around.
Today was a frustrating day because I am on standby this weekend, so when we got word on Friday there would be flying today, there went my Saturday. I wasn't too upset at first because the weather was going to be bad anyway, so better to be stuck inside today than Sunday. Well, after 9 hours at work and delay after delay... the entire plan was postponed. So guess what I am doing on Sunday? Yeah... another 9 hours at work, on what is supposed to be a gorgeous day. Needless to say, I am not a happy camper at the way this is being handled. I hope that when I am in a position to affect more people than I am now, I don't waste other people's time just because it is an easier route for me to take. But enough about that.
Time for something else good: Martin and I booked our Mediterranean cruise!!! It is in November after he gets back, and we have an amazing itinerary, awesome ship, great cabin location, and I am SOOOO excited!!! I can't wait to spend time with Martin again. :-D Here's a peek at the places we will visit:
I'll start out with good: Brian and Christine are awesome! And their daughter Abby is the most adorable 2-year-old ever, so it has been so much fun getting to know them and helping them get settled here in England. I think Brian and I are going to work really well together in the flight. They are still working on finding a house, car, etc., so he probably won't be in the office much until after the 4th of July weekend, but I'm really looking forward to having him and his family around.
Today was a frustrating day because I am on standby this weekend, so when we got word on Friday there would be flying today, there went my Saturday. I wasn't too upset at first because the weather was going to be bad anyway, so better to be stuck inside today than Sunday. Well, after 9 hours at work and delay after delay... the entire plan was postponed. So guess what I am doing on Sunday? Yeah... another 9 hours at work, on what is supposed to be a gorgeous day. Needless to say, I am not a happy camper at the way this is being handled. I hope that when I am in a position to affect more people than I am now, I don't waste other people's time just because it is an easier route for me to take. But enough about that.
Time for something else good: Martin and I booked our Mediterranean cruise!!! It is in November after he gets back, and we have an amazing itinerary, awesome ship, great cabin location, and I am SOOOO excited!!! I can't wait to spend time with Martin again. :-D Here's a peek at the places we will visit:
Since booking the cruise was probably the high point of my week, I guess I should now mention the low point. I was still at work on Wednesday just after 6pm when my cell phone rang, and it was my landlord. She dropped the bombshell that they have just made plans to sell the house... so they need me to move out by October. Apparently the house was for sale for a while before they changed their minds and put it up for rent, and then I moved in. Now someone who looked at the house before has made them "a very generous offer", and their financial situation has declined so that they really need the money.
I was very calm on the phone with her, I think mostly because I was in shock and wondering if it was even legal. We signed a 2-year contract last August, so I thought I was settled until I leave next July. I re-read the lease later and the wording on the issue is slightly confusing, so I will have to go talk to the housing office to get clarification on my rights. I don't think I have it in me to fight them on it, because even if I was right, what would I win? Ruining a good financial opportunity for a single-income family with 3 small children in a tough economy? Is that something I want to do? Not really. It just makes me sad because I feel like I am losing my home, as much as I tell myself that a house doesn't make a home.
I don't know what I am going to do yet. They said October, but I am not sure if I find somewhere to move earlier, if I am allowed to do that or if I have to wait until October. It seems to me that if the landlords are the ones who say they want to break the lease, that I should have the right to move when it is convenient for me, not them. If I have to move in October, there is no point in looking for a new place now, because no one would hold a house for me for 4 months. If I can move whenever I want, I guess it will be time to start looking at new places. I will have to see what the housing office says.
Well, I can't end with being a Debbie Downer, so here is my Good List:
1. Martin. And the very sweet letter I got in the mail from him this week :)
2. My OCF friends. I love having people in my life who I never feel like I have to impress or pretend to be someone I am not. They are like a breath of fresh air and always remind me what is really important.
3. Under Armour cushion running socks. Best. Socks. Ever. Where have you been all of my running life?
4. Sintra pictures posted! (From the trip with Martin in May) http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150683606885002.698913.701905001&l=5b64662d93
5. Pop Secret 100-calorie bags of Kettle Corn. Possibly the best food invention since the peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich.
6. 4th of July plans. Travel buddies didn't work out for a longer trip, so I'm driving down to Brighton Beach for the weekend to stay in an awesome B&B (a block from the beach), relax, and explore the popular seaside getaway town. I'll even be back in time to enjoy the 4th of July party at Feltwell!
7. Paninis made on the George Foreman grill.
8. New laptop! My amazing fiance designed one on a build-your-own website and I ordered it last week. My current laptop has been a faithful friend for 4.5 years, but that is ancient in computer years and it has earned its retirement.
9. Two OG softball game wins this week!
10. Slippers. (Yes, it is still cold enough at night to wear them here.)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Summer Things
Well, I did it... registered for the Loch Ness Marathon! It's one of the things I decided I wanted as a goal for myself this summer. I run much better when I have an event to look forward to and motivate me, plus I got tired of telling people I was just thinking about it, haha. I've always wanted to see Loch Ness, and since it's on island I won't even have to use precious days of leave for the weekend! Martin won't be back from deployment yet, but a few friends have told me they were considering running it, so hopefully I'll have a travel buddy or two. I booked my hotel too, got a nice place right near the expo and finish area. So now I am officially in training!
I ran two 5Ks this weekend, sort of by accident... I told a friend a while ago I would do a charity pub run in Cambridge on Sunday, then forgot the date and challenged my weather flight members to run the base 5K on Saturday. None of them took me up on it, but I didn't want to back out, and sometimes if there's a small showing at these base runs I can snag a place with a prize, so I figured what the heck. Racing always motivates me to run harder anyway. Well, to put it bluntly... I got beat, pretty soundly by two girls I very much underestimated at the start. Oh well... still got a t-shirt! :-)
The pub run was a good time, even though it was cold and rainy. The course in Cambridge was really pretty, along the River Cam and through some of the city. We started at one pub, ran 1.8 miles to another pub, had a drink (I had water), then ran a different route 1.5 miles back to the original pub, where more drinks were had and the pub owner cooked up some burgers for us. The run organizer said we raised over 300 pounds (that's GBP, I don't know how to make the pounds symbol on an American keyboard...) for Cancer Research UK, so all in all a good day.
Okay, since my non-running readers are probably bored now, I'll talk about something else...more plans for the summer! One big event is this Thursday... my new boss (Brian) arrives. As you may remember, I have been the acting weather flight commander since November, when Jose deployed. Now, you all know me, I am not the type of person to have control issues, or to worry about being a notch lower on the totem pole. I guess my anxiety is about how I will define my role in the flight now. Since I've been basically doing two jobs for the last 6 months, what am I going to do with myself when half or more of that is gone? I'm sure it will be fine, it will just take some time and getting to know Brian to figure out our working relationship. He seems like a nice guy from the email communication we've had, so I'm looking forward to meeting him and his family on Thursday.
That sort of brings me to my next topic... travel! As much as I hate to stay put over 3-day weekends, I'm going to this weekend because I am Brian's sponsor... and I decided it would probably be rude to pick him up from the airport on Thursday and then leave town for 3 days. So I'm going to look at it as a chance to show them (he has a wife and 3-year-old daughter) some of the local attractions, like the Bury St Edmunds market or maybe even Cambridge. My next chance to go somewhere will be 4th of July, but I haven't decided where yet... thinking somewhere beachy, but I'd like to find a travel buddy!
One exciting thing that happened last week was a phone call I got from a member of the USAFE weather staff. She asked me to talk at a focus group at the USAFE weather conference in September about a binder I made for our inspection that covers all of the staff element checklist items. I got the idea from the Spangdahlem weather flight commander, but she just happens to be moving this summer... so I get to present the idea at the conference. So why is this exciting? Two main reasons: 1) The conference is at the gorgeous Edelweiss military resort in the German Alps, and 2) The new weather assignments officer will be there. This is crazy important, because it will give me a chance to meet him/her face-to-face and talk about joint spouse assignment options for Martin and me, so I won't just be a name on an email or voice on the phone.
No, we still don't know when we are getting married. A lot of it will have to do with what we can get out of our respective assignments teams over the next several months. Having him in Korea now makes it even more complicated, but it's just one of those things we will have to adapt to. I've been really blessed in the last month or so to have conversations with several military women/couples who have worked through their own circumstances and willingly shared their stories with me. It is good to know that others have been through this, and that we have some options to make this work.
Martin and I have been able to Skype almost every day, though the time difference (he is +8 hours) is a challenge. Skype is such a wonderful thing. I get so excited every time I see the spinning circle saying "starting video", because I know it will just be a few seconds until I see his face! Weekends are the best, because we can talk for longer periods of time. We are looking at a Mediterranean cruise for after he gets back this fall, so that is really exciting!
Good List:
1. Martin (and Skype!)
2. New music. Currently listening to The Veer Union, who I think sounds somewhat like Skillet, and Green River Ordinance, who reminds me of The Pat McGee Band.
3. Free APO-to-APO mail. This means I can send Martin all kinds of fun things whenever I want! :-D
4. Being reminded not to judge a book by its cover... or not to judge at all.
5. Peanut butter.
6. Finally getting around to posting Prague pictures, and re-living all the great memories and moments they contained. http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150672294250002.694943.701905001&l=cc94081472
7. My Brita water pitcher.
8. Productivity. I cleaned all my kitchen counters and appliances, re-organized the cabinets, and cleaned out the fridge and freezer. Now if only I can continue this with the rest of the house...
9. Opportunities to meet new people and do new things.
10. OG Softball. I actually got a couple hits and scored twice last week!
I ran two 5Ks this weekend, sort of by accident... I told a friend a while ago I would do a charity pub run in Cambridge on Sunday, then forgot the date and challenged my weather flight members to run the base 5K on Saturday. None of them took me up on it, but I didn't want to back out, and sometimes if there's a small showing at these base runs I can snag a place with a prize, so I figured what the heck. Racing always motivates me to run harder anyway. Well, to put it bluntly... I got beat, pretty soundly by two girls I very much underestimated at the start. Oh well... still got a t-shirt! :-)
The pub run was a good time, even though it was cold and rainy. The course in Cambridge was really pretty, along the River Cam and through some of the city. We started at one pub, ran 1.8 miles to another pub, had a drink (I had water), then ran a different route 1.5 miles back to the original pub, where more drinks were had and the pub owner cooked up some burgers for us. The run organizer said we raised over 300 pounds (that's GBP, I don't know how to make the pounds symbol on an American keyboard...) for Cancer Research UK, so all in all a good day.
Okay, since my non-running readers are probably bored now, I'll talk about something else...more plans for the summer! One big event is this Thursday... my new boss (Brian) arrives. As you may remember, I have been the acting weather flight commander since November, when Jose deployed. Now, you all know me, I am not the type of person to have control issues, or to worry about being a notch lower on the totem pole. I guess my anxiety is about how I will define my role in the flight now. Since I've been basically doing two jobs for the last 6 months, what am I going to do with myself when half or more of that is gone? I'm sure it will be fine, it will just take some time and getting to know Brian to figure out our working relationship. He seems like a nice guy from the email communication we've had, so I'm looking forward to meeting him and his family on Thursday.
That sort of brings me to my next topic... travel! As much as I hate to stay put over 3-day weekends, I'm going to this weekend because I am Brian's sponsor... and I decided it would probably be rude to pick him up from the airport on Thursday and then leave town for 3 days. So I'm going to look at it as a chance to show them (he has a wife and 3-year-old daughter) some of the local attractions, like the Bury St Edmunds market or maybe even Cambridge. My next chance to go somewhere will be 4th of July, but I haven't decided where yet... thinking somewhere beachy, but I'd like to find a travel buddy!
One exciting thing that happened last week was a phone call I got from a member of the USAFE weather staff. She asked me to talk at a focus group at the USAFE weather conference in September about a binder I made for our inspection that covers all of the staff element checklist items. I got the idea from the Spangdahlem weather flight commander, but she just happens to be moving this summer... so I get to present the idea at the conference. So why is this exciting? Two main reasons: 1) The conference is at the gorgeous Edelweiss military resort in the German Alps, and 2) The new weather assignments officer will be there. This is crazy important, because it will give me a chance to meet him/her face-to-face and talk about joint spouse assignment options for Martin and me, so I won't just be a name on an email or voice on the phone.
No, we still don't know when we are getting married. A lot of it will have to do with what we can get out of our respective assignments teams over the next several months. Having him in Korea now makes it even more complicated, but it's just one of those things we will have to adapt to. I've been really blessed in the last month or so to have conversations with several military women/couples who have worked through their own circumstances and willingly shared their stories with me. It is good to know that others have been through this, and that we have some options to make this work.
Martin and I have been able to Skype almost every day, though the time difference (he is +8 hours) is a challenge. Skype is such a wonderful thing. I get so excited every time I see the spinning circle saying "starting video", because I know it will just be a few seconds until I see his face! Weekends are the best, because we can talk for longer periods of time. We are looking at a Mediterranean cruise for after he gets back this fall, so that is really exciting!
Good List:
1. Martin (and Skype!)
2. New music. Currently listening to The Veer Union, who I think sounds somewhat like Skillet, and Green River Ordinance, who reminds me of The Pat McGee Band.
3. Free APO-to-APO mail. This means I can send Martin all kinds of fun things whenever I want! :-D
4. Being reminded not to judge a book by its cover... or not to judge at all.
5. Peanut butter.
6. Finally getting around to posting Prague pictures, and re-living all the great memories and moments they contained. http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150672294250002.694943.701905001&l=cc94081472
7. My Brita water pitcher.
8. Productivity. I cleaned all my kitchen counters and appliances, re-organized the cabinets, and cleaned out the fridge and freezer. Now if only I can continue this with the rest of the house...
9. Opportunities to meet new people and do new things.
10. OG Softball. I actually got a couple hits and scored twice last week!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Reset
You know that feeling you get when you are so busy leading up to an event, or a series of events, and then the event is over... and you look around and say, "Okay, now what?" That's kind of how I feel right now, because a lot of things I had been looking forward to (like my US visit with family and friends) are in the past, as well as things I was not looking forward to (like Martin leaving for his 4-month deployment). Now it seems that I have reached a "reset" point, where I can reassess where my time goes and what I focus on in my life.
I am somewhat embarrassed that my last blog post was on April 11th, almost 2 months ago, and this was pointed out to me several times while I was in the States, haha. So here we go! Martin came home from his deployment supporting Libya operations on April 17th, a month after the infamous whirlwind weekend when he came home early from Spain, proposed(!!!), and left for Italy in a span of about 24 hours. He got home just in time for Easter, and we celebrated by dyeing eggs together, one of my favorite traditions. :-)
I am somewhat embarrassed that my last blog post was on April 11th, almost 2 months ago, and this was pointed out to me several times while I was in the States, haha. So here we go! Martin came home from his deployment supporting Libya operations on April 17th, a month after the infamous whirlwind weekend when he came home early from Spain, proposed(!!!), and left for Italy in a span of about 24 hours. He got home just in time for Easter, and we celebrated by dyeing eggs together, one of my favorite traditions. :-)
On April 29th, while the rest of the world watched the Royal Wedding, we had Wing Sports Day at Lakenheath and ran around outside playing various sports (while my DVR was working hard at home, of course!). I was the 5th female finisher in the 5K race, which irritated me because I was SO close to three of the four girls ahead of me, but just didn't have it in the sprint to the finish. Oh well... motivation to get back in shape! The next day, we had a few friends over and Martin grilled amazing steaks while the girls watched and provided commentary on the Royal Wedding coverage. ;-)
May 1st-5th, Martin and I traveled back to my dream world of Sintra, Portugal. It was so exciting to share all of the beautiful places and incredible experiences with my favorite travel buddy! I may have been a bit more excited than he was at the amount of hiking involved (I love you babe ;-) )... but he helped me to slow down and enjoy the culture, food, and people of the area as well.
May also took us to my first horse race in Newmarket! Martin had been once before, but we finally got a group together and got all dressed up for a day at the races. My friend Laura and I went shopping for the perfect "floppy hat", a necessity to look the part! It was such a great time... we bet on horses, with varying success (Martin analyzed statistics, while Laura and I picked the funniest names!), mingled in the club area, watched a presentation in the winner's circle, and afterwards went out to an amazing dinner at a Turkish restaurant.
On May 19th, it was a bittersweet morning as I hugged and kissed my future husband for the last time until October. I left that day for a two-week trip to the US, and he left a few days later for a 4-month deployment to Korea. This will be the longest we have been apart since we met, but we are very blessed to have constant email and Skype communication, which will hopefully make it seem like he is not quite so far away.
My trip to the US was amazing, much as I expected it to be. I got to see my beautiful little sister Lisa graduate from the University of Virginia (eek, that must mean I am old...), and share laughs and memories with my parents and a majority of our extended family (missed you, Amy!). We went to a garden party for Lisa and her 7 housemates, had a campfire with s'mores, watched the entire graduating class process down the UVA Lawn, took lots of pictures with the family, and Lisa and I took a sunrise hike the morning before heading home.
After a few days at home with my family, I went to PA for a roommate reunion with my best college friends Carrie and Jamie! I got to meet Jamie's 9-month-old daughter Alexis (who I am quite convinced is THE most adorable baby in the world), tour the Penn State branch campus where Jamie's husband Ben is a professor, take several long walks and talks with my best friends, and had the most fun I have ever had during a power outage. ;-) Love you girls!!!
The Sunday after returning from PA, I had a wonderful morning at church catching up with so many people I grew up around, reminding me how thankful I am to call St Mark's my "home" church. That evening, my parents and I went to dinner with some of their friends who were in town briefly. We went to a tavern in Colonial Williamsburg, which felt a lot like being back in England!
After a couple more days with my parents, it was time to head back to England and back to work. Lucky for me, we had this past Friday off, so I only worked one day before a three-day weekend. How about that for time to reset? On Friday, however, I went to my first-ever hen party (that's bachelorette party in England) for my friend Lauren! Lauren is getting married on July 8th, so a bunch of us girls took her out in Cambridge on Friday night for some crazy adventures before she ties the knot. It was an eventful night, and ended with a walk back to Lauren's apartment as it was starting to get light again (but remember, that doesn't mean as much during England summers...). Fun stuff!
We hung out at Lauren's until early afternoon Saturday, then I came home and took a nap (haha), Skyped with Martin, caught up on Glee, and then stayed up way too late being sucked into my new Dan Brown book, The Lost Symbol. Today has been equally as relaxing, giving me a chance to think about some new goals and plans for the next few months... and what life will look like after hitting the "reset" button. I'll share that in my next post (which I PROMISE will not be two months from now, haha), since this one has gotten long enough playing catch-up. Hope you enjoyed the pics!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Abundant Life
"I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." -John 10:10b
I was driving to work this morning, admiring the bright blue skies and bright yellow flowers carpeting the fields around me, singing really loud along with Gloriana's "Wild at Heart", laughing at myself when I sang the wrong words, and all of a sudden this Bible verse popped into my head. It was kind of funny, really, because it has nothing to do with the song I was singing, and I haven't even studied John recently (we're doing Proverbs in OCF). However, as random as it seemed, I decided God wanted me to think about it, and as I did, I realized how much it described what life has been for me recently.
"Abundant" does not necessarily mean happy, or easy, or fun. The months leading up to our inspection were definitely not fun, working 20-hour days when Libya operations kicked off was not at all easy, and I am certainly not happy that I missed out on two planned trips or that Martin was not with me for this last trip due to the sudden deployment. But was life still abundant? If you check Thesaurus.com (essential EPR-writing tool), "abundant" means "plentiful", with synonyms "full" and "overflowing". Antonyms are "lacking" and "scarce".
So Jesus came so that our lives would be plentiful, full, overflowing... with what? 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 calls us to "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I admit I am not always full of joy when stress or problems arise, and I don't always give thanks when bad circumstances arise. But I can look back and say that even during those times, my life was plentiful, full, and overflowing -- abundant with meaning, if not always joy. I can certainly never say it was lacking or scarce. I think that's what the first part of John 10:10 refers to: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; [but I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.]" Satan seeks to convince us that our lives are empty, "lacking", or "scarce" - the opposite of abundant. But the lessons learned leading up to the inspection will hopefully make me a better leader in the future, and as I mentioned in the last entry, being involved with Libya operations is something that I will remember the rest of my life, an opportunity I should be grateful for. My life has meaning because God helped me to deal with those circumstances and to come out on the other side for the better.
And then there are the times that "abundant" DOES mean happy! My life has been full of those times recently as well. :-) I'm engaged to a man who I am in love with and can't wait to experience more of life with. I had the amazing opportunities to travel to the Czech Republic and Portugal the last 2 weekends; travels I used to only dream about. I discovered Sintra (Portugal), an unbelievable fantasy world of castles, mountains, forests, and tropical gardens all in one. It is the wonderful season of spring in England, and there are fluffy baby sheep, bright colored flowers, green fields, blue skies, sun, and just natural beauty everywhere you look.
I think that abundant life means knowing I have a purpose, that God loves me enough to send Jesus to save me even though I continue to make mistakes and don't always do what He says. Everything I do and everything that happens to me means something-- it all matters. Knowing this frees me to appreciate the gifts He gives me, like Martin and castles and yellow flowers. :-)
So that is what I thought about today. I owe you entries/photo albums for Prague and Sintra, plus two other posts I have been writing off and on... one about Martin and me, the other about running. Hope to have some done by this weekend! :-) For now, here is a picture of the yellow flowers I keep talking about: the rape (pronounced rah-pay, to avoid being awkward) plant, which blooms in April/May and makes fields across England turn into carpets of bright glowing yellow. I have heard it is made into a type of oil.
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