Coming to America

Okay, so I'm already in America, but the song title is more fun. :) I flew home on Wednesday, drove up to UVA to see Lisa yesterday, stayed the night, and the parents are picking us up around noon today for our Ohio road trip to my cousin Amy's wedding... then driving home on Sunday, flying back to England on Monday.

I heard some good advice recently about honesty. Obviously, you all know me, so you probably agree that I am a pretty easygoing person who tries to avoid conflict. I don't like to say or do things that would offend other people. I like people and I like for people to be happy. But... am I keeping people happy at the cost of honesty? The answer, as much as I hate to admit it, is sometimes yes. So, why am I rambling about this self-analysis? Okay, here goes...

I have mixed feelings about being in the US. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely thrilled to be going to Amy's wedding, I couldn't be happier for her and Jon, and I can't wait to see all the extended family again. I loved hanging out with Lisa last night and I'm even looking forward to seven hours in the car with my family. Please don't doubt any of those things. But... when my plane broke through the clouds over Newark on Wednesday, and what was below me was so obviously not England... there was a part of me that didn't want the plane to land. There, I said it. Is that horribly unpatriotic and ungrateful for growing up in the most powerful and free nation in the world? I feel guilty for thinking it, I know that much. I mean, come on, I'm a member of the US military! How's that for irony?

Maybe I'm overanalyzing this. The truth is, I just feel like I left part of my heart in England. I don't know how to explain why I feel so connected to a place. And maybe that's why I'm afraid that saying what I did will offend someone... If I can't even explain why I feel that way, how can I expect anyone else to understand? All I know is that when I'm in England, everywhere I look I see possibilities, stories, mysteries, beauty, history, magic - and I LOVE that. I'm not ready to leave it behind yet. Will I ever be? Not sure, and in the end it won't be my decision to make anyway, so there's no reason to worry about it now.

Sorry, this blog was more like a peek inside my head than a story from my adventures, but I was going with the honesty thing. :) I really do plan on telling you more about the conference, as mentioned in the last blog... at some point!